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Don’t ask yourself what you did wrong or how you could have done it differently. Don’t waste your valuable heart and mind trying to figure out why he did what he did, or thinking back on all the things he said, and wondering what was the truth and what was the lie. The only thing you need to know is that it’s really good news: he’s gone.
You may feel like you’re over them, but as much as you try, that person will always be there. They will always find a way to come back to your mind. You may think your feelings for them went away, when honestly, they never left. They never left your mind, they never left your heart. There’s just always been something about them that made you fall for them in the first place. Even up until now.
For as long as I can remember, my birthday has never been a happy celebration for me. I can’t think of one year where I’ve never cried on my birthday and feel like shit. I go through the whole day and play it off as one of the happiest day of my life. I stopped throwing birthday parties and everyone threw me one last year, but even when I got home that night I was in tears.
It really sucks that the way I feel has become accustomed to my birthday. Within a week before my birthday I start feeling like this. In two days I’ll be turning sixteen, but that number is a reminder of how much I’ve grown and how little I accomplished.
Where the fuck is my “happy” in “Happy Birthday”?
Why can’t I ever be happy on the day I was born?
Whether he is real or not, I feel that believing in him gives up this sense of knowing everything is going to be alright. That we think twice about our actions because we think of God and his commandments. Whether he is real or a sense of belief/imagination, I think believing in him makes us better people with great hearts.
You only talk to me when you need something from me. I only pop into your mind when you want someone to talk to, bored, or you want a certain thing from me. I am sick of it. I am not your personal servant.




